I’m ready enough to face the fact that you’re not mine anymore. Maybe you belong to someone and unfortunately, I’m not that someone. I think I’m ready enough to tell my family about this especially to my parents who gave a thumbs up for you ever since. Ready enough to accept that more things had changed and that was never be the same anymore.
I maybe cried but hopefully, this is gonna be the last time that I’ll cry just because of you.
It maybe hard for me to move on, but I think this is what I’m supposed to do. I’m changing for the better. This is not just for me, but also for the people around me especially my family and friends. I love you so much, I did all my best to be good but maybe this is what God planned to both of us. I just wished you all the happiness in life instead of cursing him like there’s no tommorow.
If we’re really meant for each other, we’ll gonna be together no matter how many days, months nor years had passed by. We just hope the best for both of us. I still fcking love you.
(Source: haizhel-nut)
I was about to call him last tuesday night but I wasn’t able to because of some reason. Then last wednesday night, I was again but I got tired because I went to my friend’s debut and came home at 1 in the morning and I know that he’s already asleep that time. But he never been lost in my mind. Yeah, babe. Never. I don’t know why I always need to think of him, while he’s not doing the same thing. So unfair, yeah? But that’s life. And I need to deal with it.
Last night, It was a thursday night, after eating my dinner, I went online thru my phone. And his name pops out on my screen, I was about to smile but when I saw/read what it is, I wanna cry so fvcking hard that time. He hurt me. Again. Did I do something bad about him, for him to make me feel like sht? Huh?
K. What’s on it? “Albert B****y went from being “in a relationship” to “single.” He just took a second to changed his status without me asking/talking about it. And he got the nerve to be the first one who’ll changed the status? Oh well. It’s his choice, so I hope, he’s not gonna regret this in the end. But anyway, I’m lucky that we had a wifi connection at home so I could be updated from Facebook/Twitter seconds by seconds.
It took me a second to changed mine too. Because, it’s just simply means there’s no hope already. There’s no reason for me to hope that maybe one of these days, we’re gonna fix this things up and we’re gonna be together again. So It was giving me a hard time to do it at first but a thought came to my mind, “I don’t wanna look so weak. I don’t wanna look so down and hurt that much.” I maybe called a pretender If I didn’t say that it hurts me. Yeah. It hurts. Actually. Because since he broke up with me, I couldn’t be that happy unlike when I’m still with him.
Life must go on, no matter what trials came. I just need to be strong. Strong enough to let go of him.
(Source: haizhel-nut)
Ang daming iyakan. Ang daming tawanan at awayan. Ang daming memories na naiwan. At ang pinaka-masaklap dun ay ang pagiging single ko. Tngsht. I know, lahat nagdadaan sa break up…but in my case, ayokong tanggapin na ako naman yung dadaan sa ganung sitwasyon pero kailangan na pala.
Speechless pa rin till now. Fck.
(Source: haizhel-nut)
Yung feeling na tatawagin ka niyang misis tas yung surname niya, kinakabit sa pangalan mo habang sinesermunan ka. Hahahaha. Isa sa pinaka-sweet moves ng ex ko. Lol.
Nag-aaway kami niyan e, forgot the reason why, basta nagtatalo lang kami. Tas nagulat ako, nagtext ng ganyan, tas yung isang text niya… “misis” tawag niya sakin. </3 Naiiyak na naman ako.
Namimiss ko na kasi eh! Ba’t ba?! :l
This!
Pagtapos niya maglaro ng basketball, nagpahinga saglit sa bahay namin. Tas kumain. Sabi ko, wait lang kasi magluluto lang kami ng pancake ng mga pinsan ko. Hiniram niya yung phone ko, soundtrip lang daw siya. Pagbalik ko, sinoli niya. Pagkita ko sa wallpaper, pinalitan niya yung picture ko. Nag-picture pala siya tas ayun ang pinalit at ginawa niyang wallpaper ng phone ko. Kinilig naman ako nun e, tas ayun lagi na niya nire-remind na wag palitan yung wallpaper ko. <3
(Source: )
- Kinakausap ko na naman sarili ko.
- Umiiyak na naman ako.
- Naiisip na naman kita.
- Nagba-blog na naman ako tungkol sayo.
- Nagiging bitter na naman ako.
At,
Lahat yan dahil sayo. Tngina lungs.
(Source: haizhelnuuut)
Tulungan mo ‘kong mag-move on. Tulungan mo ‘kong tanggapin lahat lahat. Tulungan mo ‘kong maging masaya. At tulungan mo ‘kong sabihin sa pamilya ko na hindi na tayo. Nahihirapan kasi ako. Halos buong sistema ko andun ka. Kahit saan ako magpunta, nakikita kita. Kahit burahin ko lahat ng bakas mo sa phone ko, naiisip pa rin kita. Kahit pumikit ako, mukha mo pa rin nakikita ko.
Punyetah naman eh! Pinahihirapan mo ba ‘ko talaga? Kahit ilang beses ako malasing, hindi kita makalimutan. Nakakabobo. Tas sasabay pa yung mga taong nagtatanong sakin tungkol sayo. Ano ba?! Nakaka-jirits na.
Sana kasi diba? Isang inuman na lang, isang iyakan na lang tapos pag-gising ko, wala ka na sana… hindi na sana kita mahal ng sobra sobra. Maging masaya na sana ako. Ang dali ‘kong sumaya sayo dati tas ngayon ang hirap na.
Tulungan mo naman ako oh? Please?
Oo. Kasi nga, nag-iisa lang siya eh. Wala siyang kakambal. Siya lang talaga. Siguro, meron mang mas gwapo sa kanya, mas sweet sa kanya, mas magaling magbasketball sa kanya, at mas futuristic kesa sa kanya… eh hindi naman sila yung gusto ko eh. Siya lang talaga.
“Wala na kong mahahanap na katulad niya.”
Wala nga ba? Pag-open ko kanina ng Fb, may nag-a-add sakin. Kilala ko siya eh. Ex ng friend ko. Same name sa kanya. Same first letter ng surname. Same marine din ata? Not so sure. Then, same din silang cute. Pero hindi eh, iba pa rin siya. Hahaha.
Siya at siya pa rin talaga.
Dalian mo na. Kung wala ka ng balak bumalik pa, umalis ka na ng tuluyan at wag ng magpaparamdam pa. Umalis ka na sa buong sistema ko. Yung tipong pati pangalan mo, hindi ko na alam. Deh, joke.
Mahal na mahal pa rin kita. Ptngina. Ang sakit sakit pa rin, hanggang ngayon. Hanggang kailan mo ba ko paiiyakin? Tama na please. Ayoko na. Sawa na ko. Pagod na ko.
Kung dati, tumatawa ako sa tuwing paulit-ulit kong pinapakinggan yung record ng pag-uusap natin sa phone ko, kung dati tawa ang nagagawa ko, ngayon hindi na eh. Iyak at sakit na nararamdaman ko. Sobrang sakit gago ka.
Ayokong magpaka-tanga sayo, pero kinain ko na naman yung sinabi ko. Kasi, eto na nga oh! Eto pa rin ako. Mahal ka pa rin. Ang gago ko din eh no? Tara na kasi, magkalimutan na lang tayo kung hindi ka para sakin.
Alam mo yung masakit? Yun yung pinararamdam mo ngayon eh.
//wrist
Edi ako na iyakin ngayon. Haha. Nakakuha ng katapat? Tnginang yan. Karma? Lecheng yan. Nilunok ko yung sinabi kong… “Hindi ako iiyak ng dahil sa lalaki.” Bakit? Ngayon kasi, nararanasan ko ng umiyak. Yun bang konting bagay lang, ramdam na ramdam ko yung sakit. Yung sakit na para bang wala ng bukas kaya sobra sobra na. Tngsht.
Mahirap din pala magpigil ng pag-iyak, kung kusa ng tumutulo yung luha mo kahit anong pigil at pahid mo. Unlimited ata eh? Nakakaloka. Emo na ba ako? Tnginang yan. Hindi bagay. Iyakin ang peg. Hanggang kailan naman kaya ‘to? Ilang beses ko pa ba kailangan umiyak para lang matapos na yung sakit na nararamdaman ko? Ilang tao pa ang kailangang makakita at ilang tao pa ang kailangang makarinig ng paghagulgol ko?
Hindi naman dapat ganito diba? E anong nangyari?
Kahit ako, sa sarili ko, napapagod na kong umiyak. Nagsasawa na kong maramdaman yung sakit. Napapagod na kong magpunas ng luha. Nahihiya na ko sa mga nakakakita at nakakarinig. At natatakot na ko, baka malaman na ng buong pamilya ko.
Ayokong magalit sila dun. Ayokong maging kumplikado siya sa pamilya ko. Gets? Kumplikado na nga kami, tas magiging kumplikado pa siya samin. E ano nang labas? Edi lalo kaming naghiwalay. Tngsht.